Two Funny Valentine's Day Gift Ideas

Who couldn't use a little bottled "Magnetism" or a spritz of "Intuition" from time to time? And in affairs of the heart, handy access to some fool-proof "Mind Control" wouldn't be half-bad, either.

For the prefect gag Valentine's gift, order "superhero" supplies from the inimitable Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company, a New York tutoring center for kids. It's disguised behind a storefront selling cleverly labeled secret identity kits, invisibility testing tools and other wonderfully silly superhero items with adult appeal. "Ever vigilant, ever true" is their motto; walk-in customers must take a pledge to "use my powers for good" before purchasing these secret weapons.

Excellent Valentine's Day gift options, available online, include cans of "Matter" and "Antimatter," as well as bottles of "Truth Serum."

For couples in extremis, there's also "Antidote" and even "Justice." A cool "Thunder Inducer" could prove useful during a lovers' tiff, or to punctuate that moment when, as Aretha put it, "the earth moves under my feet."

A dramatic, five-foot long, gold lame Superhero Cape could be just the wardrobe item you or your honey need. The lame cape, according to the site, "offers comfort, panache, and, when flying within 50 quanta miles of the sun, a dazzling light show."

Having trouble understanding the opposite sex? Or, wondering what the object of your affections is really thinking? Buy yourself a Valentine's Day gift: "Mindreader," for just under $100.

Bottles of magic cost a mere $13.99 plus shipping. The cape is $30.

Profits go to the non-profit tutoring center.

Ordering Info

• Online
  Order Superhero gifts by Monday, February 6, 2012 to ensure delivery by Valentine’s Day.

• For walk-in customers
  Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co.
  372 5th Avenue, Park Slope, Brooklyn
  (718) 499-9884

Psst ... Got the love bug?

For a memorable Valentine's Day gift, order a COCOA-ROACH. It's a fabulous little piece of handmade chocolate that looks like, yes, a cockroach. Brought to you from the Wildlife Conservation Society (WCS) — the folks who run the New York Aquarium and Bronx Zoo — this Valentine's Day special is "a genuine artisanal 100 percent solid dark chocolate likeness of a Madagascar hissing cockroach – the world’s largest member of the roach family."

Created by the chocolate artists at The Chocolate Box NYC (they can make anything, even high heels out of chocolate), this love bug promises to be yummy — and not suspiciously crunchy.

(A repeat reassurance for the squeamish: COCOA-ROACHES are not chocolate-covered roaches —save that thought for April Fool's Day. They are 100 percent solid chocolate.)

About the actual original roach: Madagascar hissing cockroaches, according to the WCS, are "the world’s largest roach species reaching nearly four-inches long. The namesake hissing noise is emitted as a defense mechanism."

$25 for one roach, $35 for two. For extra, you can have the chocolate love bug inscribed with your Valentine's name.

Ordering Info

• Order Cocoa-Roach by Monday, February 6, 2012 to ensure delivery by Valentine’s Day.

Happy Valentine's Day!